Boo Boy March 17, 2012

My heart is breaking. Our sweet little Boo boy of 8 1/2 years has not been feeling well. I had taken him to vet 3 times thinking that he had arthritis and a tummy problem. He was just slowing down and licking his legs so much I thought that he was in pain. Then he started to periodically throw up, mainly in Parker's room cause he didn't want anyone to see. This throwing up started to get to be more frequent. I took him in and got antiobiotics for a stomache problem and pain medication for arthritis. I left to go to Utah and Idaho on Feb. 29th to get Hunter's mission/temple clothes and to go visit the kids. Eric texted me and said Boo boy has lost alot of weight and is sick. I took him in as soon as they could get me in which was Monday March 12th and they did blood work. On tuesday they called with the devasting news that he was having severe renal failure and panchriantitis. They said there were some things we could try but it may or may not work. I was devastated. I thought he had a stomache bug and would take a pill and be better. We immediately did all that the Dr. recommended changed his diet to a bland diet, gave some medicine and did Sub Q IV fluids to try and flush out his kidneys. He seemed to be doing better but I think he was trying his hardest just for us. He couldn't hold any of his food down and was very weak. He needed his mommy and I needed him. He would look at me with those sweet sad eyes and I knew he was hurting. It broke my heart but I wanted to do everything I could possibly do to make him comfortable and happy. We did IV therapy until Friday and I realized he still was able to hold down any food and was getting weaker and weaker. He just wanted me to sit with him and hold him. Which is what I did. Boo boy has been such a loyal faithful companion. He is always there right beside me, sometimes I think I took him for granted because I was so used to him being right there. Now there is hole in my heart and in our home. Hunter said this morning something is missing and he is right it is Boo he is/was a huge presence and part of our family. I called the Dr. and said we can't just keep going and watching him suffer they wanted to put him to sleep on Friday March 16th but we couldn't do it on Austin's and Hunter's Bday so we waited until Saturday March 17th. The last 3 nights I have been up checking on him every hour I awake with fear that he is gone or something. The first night I was up all night worried and distressed with the diagnosis. Then the next nights I was up worrying, laying beside him and feel scared. Last night I held him from 1:30 am to 2:45 and he just contently laid in my arms. I love him so much and am so very grateful that he came into myself and my families lives. He has been the best dog ever even being so kind to pushy Maggie Mae. Maggie is so sad becaseu they were buddies and now she is wondering where her buddy went. She knew something was terribly wrong with him and she woudl just sit by him. I don't handle loss very well or change I am feeling very scared and like there is a hole in my heart. This same feeling happened when Lindee first went away to college and I felt her loss. I feel scared and some anxiety which is very hard to explain. I am really scared for how I am going to feel when Hunter leaves for his mission. First Boo Boy and now Hunter. Ugh.....
I love Boo with all my heart I loved his presence and he was just happy to take a back seat to Maggie Mae but was always there. If I was sick he would lay on my bed beside all day and all night never leaving. He was the true definition to a companion and I needed him and I need Maggie Mae. I like to take care of things, children and dogs. It is the motherly instinct and he was the perfect pet. He went to Pinecrest with us and hiked around the lake twice. He always had to be first until Maggie Mae came along then he was just fine to come along. He was kind and easy going. I will miss him forever. I beleive that we will be with our pets in the eternities. I love Boo Boy and I miss him and my heart hurts.

Gratitude

I am feeling such gratitude lately. My heart is full. I am so thankful that Eric is feeling so much better than in the last 5 years of accidents and surgeries. He is swimming, cycling and working out in the gym. He is even playing tennis with us and doing quite well. I can see in him a renewed vigor. It makes me happy to see him so happy. I am also feeliing so grateful for all of my kids and my special relationship with each one of them. Hunter is preparing to go on his mission to the Scotland/Ireland mission leaving for the England MTC on May 16th and entering on May 17th. Eric and I had a feeling that we needed to keep him home from BYU-I this semester for many reasons. One of which we did not feel like he was progressing in life as he should and we wanted to help him prepare for his mission. Don't get me wrong we love love BYU-I and know without a doubt that it is a spiritual wonderful place but we felt like we could help Hunter (mainly Eric) better than anyone else could or would want to. So he agreed after his own conformation that it would be right to stay home this semester. And after searching diligently for job he got one, the perfect one at the The Market. 4 blocks from our house and working in a upper class grocery store as a courtesy clerk with upper class older people. It has been perfect for him for work full time in that friendly, clean and busy enviroment. Working with the public interfacing all day while running back and forth with the carts. It has been both demanding and taxing on him but has been excellent preparation for the taxing and tired days ahead. He is also been able to save money for his mission which he wouldn't be able to do at BYU-I because jobs are so hard to come by. Hunter has had alot of dental work done as well. Last thing to do is pull the wisdom teeth. But more importantly he has studied "Preach My Gospel" read the scriptures and "A Marvelous Work and Wonder". As well as staying up on his homework and spending good quality time with our family. My heart is full as I think of this cherished time spent with him before his mission. He was asked to speak at our Stake Conference last Sunday. He prepared his own talk and gave a very mature and well thought out talk about how he is preparing for his mission. President Everett told us that is was the best premission talk he has ever heard. And I would have to agree. I was so very proud of him sitting on the stand looking so handsome and llike a missionary. He was composed and calm and delivered his talk beautifully. I also have enjoyed watching him and Parker bond even more than before. The are close funny brothers who enjoy eachothers company. Dad and I sit in bed and listen to them laugh and giggle downstairs about one thing or another. Oh the joy in my posterity. I am really feeling that way. I couldn't be happier with my relationship with Lindee we are closer than ever. I would have thought that her getting married would distance us but it just hasn't. I so enjoy her frequent calls and always try to be available I also try to be sensitive of their time together. I love her with all of my heart and am so pleased at the beautiful women she has become and I also love Beau for assisting in bringing out her beauty.
I am also enjoying a particularly good relationship with Parker right now. He is really stepping it up in school, church and tennis. He is a fun and sweet boy. He had to give the seminary lesson on Monday and prepare a lesson and gave it to us in FHE on Sunday night. He did an excellent job he teacher commended him and us for supporting him. He is a great boy becoming a great young man following in both his brothers footsteps and I couldn't be happier. Austin I talk to about twice a week right now and know why. He probably doesn't have very much to talk about. When he calls me he is always in a good mood with good news to report. He is doing so swell in his classes and called yesterday to report he got 100 percent on biostats test. Amazing!!! He is amazing and I can't wait to see him, Lindee and Beau when Hunter go visit in two days. Life is so good and I am so grateful.

My New Blog! February 2012

My sweet daughter set up this blog for me to write out my thoughts. I am so excited to do so. Here's to blogging!!! Parker is practicing the piano and Hunter is downstairs on his ipad and just got home from work at the Market. I will write more but life is so good right now. I have to take Parker to tennis so I will write later. Excited to start this new experience.