Boo Boy March 17, 2012

My heart is breaking. Our sweet little Boo boy of 8 1/2 years has not been feeling well. I had taken him to vet 3 times thinking that he had arthritis and a tummy problem. He was just slowing down and licking his legs so much I thought that he was in pain. Then he started to periodically throw up, mainly in Parker's room cause he didn't want anyone to see. This throwing up started to get to be more frequent. I took him in and got antiobiotics for a stomache problem and pain medication for arthritis. I left to go to Utah and Idaho on Feb. 29th to get Hunter's mission/temple clothes and to go visit the kids. Eric texted me and said Boo boy has lost alot of weight and is sick. I took him in as soon as they could get me in which was Monday March 12th and they did blood work. On tuesday they called with the devasting news that he was having severe renal failure and panchriantitis. They said there were some things we could try but it may or may not work. I was devastated. I thought he had a stomache bug and would take a pill and be better. We immediately did all that the Dr. recommended changed his diet to a bland diet, gave some medicine and did Sub Q IV fluids to try and flush out his kidneys. He seemed to be doing better but I think he was trying his hardest just for us. He couldn't hold any of his food down and was very weak. He needed his mommy and I needed him. He would look at me with those sweet sad eyes and I knew he was hurting. It broke my heart but I wanted to do everything I could possibly do to make him comfortable and happy. We did IV therapy until Friday and I realized he still was able to hold down any food and was getting weaker and weaker. He just wanted me to sit with him and hold him. Which is what I did. Boo boy has been such a loyal faithful companion. He is always there right beside me, sometimes I think I took him for granted because I was so used to him being right there. Now there is hole in my heart and in our home. Hunter said this morning something is missing and he is right it is Boo he is/was a huge presence and part of our family. I called the Dr. and said we can't just keep going and watching him suffer they wanted to put him to sleep on Friday March 16th but we couldn't do it on Austin's and Hunter's Bday so we waited until Saturday March 17th. The last 3 nights I have been up checking on him every hour I awake with fear that he is gone or something. The first night I was up all night worried and distressed with the diagnosis. Then the next nights I was up worrying, laying beside him and feel scared. Last night I held him from 1:30 am to 2:45 and he just contently laid in my arms. I love him so much and am so very grateful that he came into myself and my families lives. He has been the best dog ever even being so kind to pushy Maggie Mae. Maggie is so sad becaseu they were buddies and now she is wondering where her buddy went. She knew something was terribly wrong with him and she woudl just sit by him. I don't handle loss very well or change I am feeling very scared and like there is a hole in my heart. This same feeling happened when Lindee first went away to college and I felt her loss. I feel scared and some anxiety which is very hard to explain. I am really scared for how I am going to feel when Hunter leaves for his mission. First Boo Boy and now Hunter. Ugh.....
I love Boo with all my heart I loved his presence and he was just happy to take a back seat to Maggie Mae but was always there. If I was sick he would lay on my bed beside all day and all night never leaving. He was the true definition to a companion and I needed him and I need Maggie Mae. I like to take care of things, children and dogs. It is the motherly instinct and he was the perfect pet. He went to Pinecrest with us and hiked around the lake twice. He always had to be first until Maggie Mae came along then he was just fine to come along. He was kind and easy going. I will miss him forever. I beleive that we will be with our pets in the eternities. I love Boo Boy and I miss him and my heart hurts.